Monday, July 20, 2009

029 Cowell Factor

I’m so angry…I’ve decided to embark on a mission to wake up the major record labels - And why not…it’s about time.

But first…I’ve broken into The Fame Games Talent Bank and before I’m arrested by the major label police, I’m gonna let loose Keegan Smith and the Fam with their song Fresh Air. You’ve got a lot going on that I like Mr Smith - there’s a few hints of Jason Mraz - but it sounds like you were doing this first and better. Diggin a bit deeper - as I do…I also found your song Smile. I like you Mr Smith - a lot.

And a quick shout out to Nashville band Philos. Your song Difference proves you do know how to write hit songs. I also love your version of Defying Gravity.

And now it’s time for my lousy lyrics slot - Now this week I’ve sexed it up a little and this time I want YOU to guess who is responsible for this weeks lousy lyric. And the first person to email me the answer - will win a personally signed photo of the X Factor judges - Ok, Ok, you can always cut Simon off - PLUS…a signed copy of one of my books.

So…here we go. Who sang this lyric?

I don’t want to see a ghost,
It’s a sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news

(Laugh) It actually sounds a bit like one of my teenage poems. But…it’s not. So…if you know who this is - email me at

So what’s been happening in Cowell world?…Well…despite reports that Simon has re-signed with American Idol for 100 gillion billion dollars - he tells me he is yet to sign any deal at all.

And Susan Boyle tells me that her new album will be timed perfectly to grab the Christmas market. Thank god I’ll be in Barbados at Christmas

So here’s the thing….who’s top of the charts this week?
Yes…Michael Jackson. And I don’t have to tell you how fast his songs are selling since he died that is. I’m also grateful to TMZ who sent me a copy of an unreleased song by Jackson which is a re-working of America’s….A Horse with No Name.

But I couldn’t help but wonder….Why was it not released before?
Oh I see because suddenly he’s immortal – well…as far as music sales go anyway.
Of course…when Jackson was alive, he was listed at number 35 in Rolling Stone magazines’ list of top performers of all time; so I wonder, what number will he rank next year? And just a reminder…Rolling Stone…Thriller sold 104 million copies. Which begs the question: Why are the Beach Boys listed at number 12? What do artists have to do…to make it while their still alive?

So listen Mr Safe investing so little money in new talent - and not content with cashing in on Michael Jackson’s death - you’ve just spent the last 4 years re-mastering the Beatles albums for release later this year. More old stuff - as if Paul doesn’t have enough money already.

The Beatles are Safe and easy money. Jackson is now safe and easy money - but what about the new music? Are you that scared that you won’t invest in the future?

Well…I’m putting my money where my Cowell mouth is and I’m about to go out and lobby the major labels - starting next week.

I’m making it my job to meet up with some of the heads of Britain’s top record labels. I want answers. I want them to listen to Fame Games - because…lets face it …this…is the future of music.

Wish me luck!

The Cowell Factor

If you've only got ONE shot at FAME you might as well get it right!!